Intention: how to communicate
Your reader will try to infer your intentions anyway, so you better help them get it right
This is the third out of seven email detailing the Miirror Framework for written communication, and it is about Intention.
First, think about the Message -- which is formed by Information and Intention.
Then think about the Reader -- which requires Rapport and Order.
Then Rewrite it.
Writing is an unnatural form of communication
Crying, laughing, yelling, eyebrows and lips movements. All of these are natural communication devices for every human. We have an intuitive understanding of their meaning. They are great to express feelings.
Words are essentially made up sounds which meaning we agreed upon and transmitted from peer to peer. Their meanings derive from artificial conventions. They are great to convey information.
We make use of both devices in face-to-face communication. We use words, but we also use facial expressions and tone of voice. Your message on a conversation is composed of the information you are saying and the intention you are signaling. But writing eliminates all nonverbal communication, so we have to consciously use words to both transmit information and signal intention.
This is important to understand. When you try to signal intentions in your writing, you are compensating for the lack of a feature so it might feel unnatural and compromising. Because it is. That does not mean you should not bother to try. It is communication all the same, and the reader will find intentions in your text, had you consciously tried to convey them in your words or not.
List your primary intention and how it can go wrong
Check your real intentions first, then notice the risks you are most likely to incur. It helps a lot to write down how you do and how you do not want to sound.
"I want to sound helpful, not patronizing."
"I want to sound firm, not rude."
"I want to sound worried, not accusatory."
"I want to sound unconcerned, not dismissive."
"I want to sound urgent, not overbearing."
One such statement is usually enough. Do not overthink it.
Your writing is an extension of you
Take into account your current relationship with the reader and the perception they have of your personality. If you are writing to someone who does not know you, there is a higher risk of misunderstanding. Avoid subtle humor to not sound disrespectful. Sacrifice a little bit of objectivity to not sound harsh. However, if the reader already knows you as a funny or straightforward person, these risks are negligible.
Emoticons are good :)
Emoticons add some of the nonverbal signalings that we lack in writing. Whenever you can, use it. In general, it is OK to use them in in-company day-to-day communication, like emails and Slack. But not OK to use in contact with people from other companies that you will never meet in person or more formal announcements. Emoticons are particularly suitable for lightening the mood when there is a risk of sounding too intense, too serious or too formal.
Your reader’s opinion matters more than mine
Intentions and how they are perceived are too subjective, making it hard to have rules of thumb and broadly applicable practical advice. The best way to check that your writing is reflecting your intentions is asking for feedback. Ask colleagues to read your text and tell you how do they think you sound. If that is not reflecting your real intentions, make changes and ask them to read again.
Next week, I will write about how to identify and think about your reader while writing.
Thanks for reading me, and please reply with any doubts you might have regarding your own writing.
